Wow, my long lost blog! Its been so long since I made my way here to record the thoughts I think when I run. Perhaps because running went by the wayside due to a certain munchkin that ever so resembles me and came from my being? I have recently picked running back up, and it fits in where it can, adapting to the new Lindsey. I love the emptiness that running allows my brain to experience. You start out easing into the breathing and adjusting to the air around you, the air God has given you to take deep into your lungs while you trot the roads. Thoughts begin to form. Epiphanies happen. Progress is made in a runner's heart. As I make time for this act of fitness, nourishing my cardiovascular health, I am also making time for God to make me better at everything else; the important things. I've got a mind blowing proclamation for today. Its amazing to realize that having a child is the most amazing gift God can give, but He doesn't want us to lose ourselves in the process. God gives us permission to grow spiritually ourselves as well as the tiny human we've created.
Sometimes when I get my hands in the garden of parenthood, I forget the rose bushes need tending as well. I forget that there are fruit bearing trees giving gifts of sweetness. I fail to mow the grass, and pull the weeds of life. Life is so diverse. I love that garden so much. From it I feed my soul! I create the fuel for the fire of internal nourisment. It is an art. It is a science. It is the best of both worlds. I could spend all day in the garden, but my spiritual need for balance reminds me that God is calling for the other duties to be dealt with. Life has highs and lows, a spectrum of color, and a melody of notes. When I realized being a mother was my life's purpose, I forgot that I was always changing. When we see the different elements life has to offer, we are inherently and without choice changing. When things change, we have to adjust appropriately. We have to make our own tweaks, and make sure the changes fit into our life. We sometimes have an idealistic picture of what that life should be, but cast it to the side He says. He has the master paintbrush, and we need to be a color on his canvas.
Amongst my gardening, and painting, and whatever other activity I can think of doing.... I forgot to let God tune my guitar strings. I got spiritually lost. God has always known where I was at, but finally the glass is fully transparent and I can see Him too. My heart has only been cracked so slightly, but I am looking forward to doing the work to open it fully to what the Lord has in store.
What a relief it is to surrender to God's love. What a weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders.
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